Why They'll NEVER Let Me Through the Well
by RaptorChicky
Summary: Its official--I'm insane...Read this and you'll see why...


**Why They'll NEVER Let Me Through the Well**

**(aka Ramblings of the Sleep Deprived)**

Liza

Disclaimer:  D'yeah, I wished I owned 'em.

Summary:  This is what happens when I suffer from the delightful condition of sleep deprivation and a caffeine high at 4 am while singing along with "Center Field."  (God, I love my job…)  I guess its funny…Or just plain **wrong**.

Rating:  PG, some naughty words                      Genre:  Parody/Humor

Now, let the wrongness commence!!

            The whole Inuyasha gang was gathered at Kaede's home, debating over when they should go out and search for more Shikon shards.  Miroku was suffering from a learning disability, seeing as his hand kept finding itself attached to Sango's rear and her boomerang kept finding itself attached to the monk's skull.  Shippo was doing whatever all cute widdle kits would do.  Inuyasha and Kagome were doing the usual—arguing—and the hanyou had to pry himself off the floor every two minutes.  Kaede was starting to wonder when and if she would have to get a new floor—it was starting to acquire an Inuyasha-shaped dent in it.

            A gust of wind interrupted them.  "Inuyasha."

            Said half demon managed to remove his face from this new lover, the floor, and whipped out a sword that would make Cloud from Final Fantasy (A/N:  I certainly don't own this—it's worse than Evervege) drool with envy.  "Sesshoumaru!  Here for another ass whoopin', I see," he snarled.

            The taiyoukai held up his hand, appearing to inspect his finely manicured talons for a moment.  "No.  I did not come to fight.  This Sesshoumaru needs your help—he needs you to hide him."

            A collective "Huh?!" could be heard, with a few present looking like the catch of the day at a seafood market.

            "You want _what_??" Inuyasha asked, flabbergasted, while at the same time a "Sessy-chan!" could be heard in the background.

            His yellow eyes darting toward the door, something reminiscent of "Oh–shit" flashed across Sesshoumaru's face.  "She's after me!  You must hide—"

            "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

            "Get out of my way you little brown-noser!" a woman shouted.  Jakken's scream was followed by a splash.  "I hope ya drown!"

            Before he dove into the other room,  Sesshoumaru stabbed the air with his finger, emphasizing the last three words, "This Sesshoumaru _was not here."_

            A girl in her early 20's, wearing a "Star Wars" t-shirt, burst into the house.  "Where is he?!  I know he's here!"

            "Who?" Inuyasha asked innocently.

            "That hot piece of youkai known as your brother," she replied as she swatted Miroku's hand away.

            Six fingers pointed toward the other room, as Inuyasha answered with: "Don't know where he is—haven't seen him in a while…"

            A huge smile lit up her face.  "Sessy-chan!" she exclaimed upon entering the other room.

            Everybody heard a faint "Eep!"  Yes, the almighty Sesshoumaru had just squeaked like a little mouse.  When the girl dragged him back out, the youkai had an expression nobody had ever seen on him:  desperation.

            "_She's_ what you're hiding from?" somebody asked.

            Sesshoumaru nodded grimly while attempting to remove the girl from his arm, but he might as well have tried removing cigarettes from a chain smoker.

            "Why didn't you go all demony on her?  You know—step on her, chew on her, drool on her?" inquired Inuyasha while he fought off an enormous smirk.

            Shippo was already rolling on the floor laughing and crying.

            "This Sesshoumaru did.  All she did was start nuzzling my leg, calling me "her cute little puppy"."  His yellow eyes kept screaming, "Help me!!  Help me!!"

            A laugh burst out of somebody and it was quickly followed by a, "Pervert!"

            "That's right!" the girl said, still cuddling up against the taiyoukai.  "Come on, Snugglebunny, let's go meet my folks.  It might take a while, but I'm sure they'll love you…"  She tugged him out of the house, leaving everybody else speechless.

            Speechless until…

            "…Snugglebunny?"


End file.
